treasure, tears
I experienced with Li Tsin more love, nurturing and joy than I ever have in all the days of my life.
Because I am stupid, over the years, I squandered this gift in subtle, but cancerous ways. Now I pay the price.
I’m really sorry sweetie. I’m sorry I took the easy way out so often; sorry I wasn’t braver about things in our relationship.
You have given more than any man deserves, least of all me.
To your list I want to add holding hands, restaurant outings you planned so well, family time, huggie wuggies, sharing shows, making shows, bean bear and all his siblings (for whom I feel an unnatural, yet deep an abiding love for), and kisses from the heart. I will treasure these to the end of my days; I thank your family and all your friends for their acceptance of me.
I’m so sorry I’ve betrayed it all somehow. Somehow, it seemed like this was the only way; but I have no way of telling whether it was the right choice for our futures, and I am burned so badly with emptiness fearing the worst.
I have always loved you, I will always love you. You have meant more to me than anything.
*
Jelas will probably take a break for a while, I’m sorry.
And Wang, fuck you.
